Wrong Receiver Translation
by Becky 0 Malet
Summary: It started the day when Jack sent a simple message to the wrong person. Who could have guessed the turn the events would take? (translation from french to english made by piningbeleg, original fanfiction wrote by myself)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! Here's the translation of my fanfiction, thanks to the lovely person who did it ( visit her blog:** thranduilseyebrows . co . vu ****)****

 ** **Have a good read guys :)****

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 ** **Wednesday 16th of March 2006, 11.28am****

 ** **To:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk

 ** **From:**** jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk

 ** **Subject**** : Request of information

 ** **.****

Good morning,

I am Captain Jack Harkness, head of Torchwood 3 based in Cardiff. I'm consulting you to ask if you possess any information about an unlisted alien in our archives. It's a species we've never encountered- a Krycmymt. I would like to know if it would be possible to access your files on this creature, providing that they do indeed exist. For now it remains under close surveillance in our cells, but we do not really know what to expect. I'm hoping to get some cooperation from you.

Regards,

Captain Jack Harkness, head of Torchwood 3

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 ** **Wednesday 16th of March 2006, 12.36pm  
To:**** jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk  
 ** **From:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk

 ** **Subject:**** Wrong Receiver

.  
Good morning Mr. Harkness,

I am sorry but unfortunately it seems that you are mistaken in the recipient's address. The one designated to the administrative staff is: officer18 .uk. I'm only in charge of organising the cleaning, research, and calls. However, you must know I've just relayed your request to the qualified centre. They should give you an answer shortly.  
To identify an extremely toxic gas which, if inhaled, eating away all the internal organs of the victim until death follows. But my colleagues will certainly give you more detail than I am but a mere officer of the least interesting tasks of the Institute after all.

If you're interested, I know that the Krycmymt is a dangerous species that can secrete an extremely toxic gas which, if inhaled, eats away all the internal organs of the victim until death follows. My colleagues will certainly give you more detail. After all, I am but a mere agent in charge of the least interesting tasks of the Institute.

Good luck in procession Captain,

Regards

Ianto Jones, general support at Torchwood 1

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 ** **Wednesday 16th of March 2006, 5.21pm  
To:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk

 ** **From:**** jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk

 ** **Subject:**** Thanks for the information

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Good evening Mr. Jones,

First of all, thank you for your answer about my mistake in the email. I have indeed received a reply from the secretariat, even if it was impolite and definitely not of aide. It seems that the only useful information that I was given as about this alien is yours. Thank you. We are currently taking measures with the creature.

Clearly you know a lot for a simple agent in charge of a dirty work. If I may say so, have you ever thought about applying for a promotion?

Finally, please accept my gratitude. I hope to have the opportunity to speak to you again and consult your expertise when needed.

Regards,

Captain Jack Harkness, head of Torchwood 3

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 ** **Wednesday 16th of March 2006, 8.49pm  
To:**** jharkness . torchwood3 . co .uk

 ** **From:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk

 ** **Subject:**** You're very welcome

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Mr. Harkness,

You need not thank me for this information. It's my duty to transmit knowledge to a colleague in need, even if our respective Institutes seem to be warring. I don't understand why they insist upon animosity, but I remain at your disposal if you need any information.

To answer to your question, I've already thought about a position change, but I assumed I was assigned this position due to my lack of qualifications for fieldwork. That eliminates the possibility of my obtaining a spot on the primary team. I must admit I'd rather like to take part in a weevil hunt, or capture a rogue alien in the dark streets of London, but it's not my job. Perhaps I'm revealing too much of myself to a man I've only known for a few hours.  
Perhaps we could try something: why not mutually ask questions which we would be obliged to answer?

Good luck with the Krycmymt (be careful: its bite is particularly venomous poison when transmitted from one individual to another through saliva)

Regards (or greetings?)

Ianto Jones, general support at Torchwood 1

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 ** **Thursday 17th of March 2006, 01.53am  
To: ****officer15 . torchwood1. co . uk

 ** **From:**** jharkness .torchwood3. co . uk

 ** **Subject:**** Call me Jack

.

Ianto (can I call you this?),

First of all, what the hell were you doing at work at almost 9pm? I hope they pay you well!

Then it seems that this little conversation becomes intriguing, especially when neither of us appears inclined to abandon this small and very entertaining discussion.

Finally, know that despite what you think, I am convinced that the rank you hold within your team reflects only a small part of your true potential. I suppose you've a lot of interest in aliens, haven't you? Why not ask the head of Torchwood 1 (Yvonne Hartman, right) if it is possible to participate in a catch on the ground?

Please talk about yourself to the full extent of your desire; it doesn't bother me in the least. On the contrary, I'm eager to learn more.

I love the idea of asking a question which we are obliged to answer. I'll go first: How long have you worked for Torchwood London?

Haha thanks for the information, but I fear it arrives too late. The creature didn't take a liking to my arm. When I came into its cell it instantly bit my left arm until it bled, chewing my arm for a few long seconds while I was trying to disengage myself from its jaw. Fortunately, I have a very effective immune system. Less appealing is the fact that I'll be unable to kiss people for the time being. What a waste; all these men and women waiting for me to brighten their boring evenings, and I can't anymore. Damn alien!

I don't know if I'll have the honour of receiving a reply in the morning, but I'll hear from you soon (I hope).

Sincerely,

Jack (no need to use our professional signature our little chat is more than professional isn't it?)

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 ** **Thursday 17th of March 2006, 11.45am  
To: ****jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk

 ** **From:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk  
 ** **Subject:**** How are you?

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Morning Jack,

To answer your question, I'm used to staying later than my colleagues. I like to sneak in the gigantic and majestic archives of Torchwood 1 and learn about everything passing through the Rift. I love learning and discovering new things; I'll take a file at random and sit with a hot cup of coffee and read, sometimes immersing myself in the text for hours. I lose track of time quickly in such cases.  
I've already asked Miss Hartman if it were possible to take me on, but her answer was indisputable: a very clear and firm no. I must accept her decision.

I've worked for Torchwood for 4 years, and I've always held this position. I suppose it's better than nothing; at least I can learn every evening. I don't complain. What about you?

Oh my God, did you get medical care? Forget not being able to kiss anyone, you're lucky to be alive. The poison is usually lethal. Be sure the product is not present in your veins before resuming your flirtations, matter of precaution.

Greetings,

Ianto

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 ** **Thursday 17th of March 2006, 8.03pm  
To: ****officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk

 ** **From:**** jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk  
 ** **Subject:**** I'm fine and you?

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Hello Ianto,

What I've just learned please me it's rare to see someone invest so much in his work (although it's necessary criteria when you working Torchwood). At least it you're enjoying it, that's all that matters.  
Maybe I could use my charm and my talent to change your superior's mind and convince her you deserve to discover a different part of the job, what do you think? It could work.

You work for Torchwood for 4 years? How old are you, if I may ask? Our talk has led me to believe that you're very young.

As for me, I've worked for Torchwood Cardiff for so long that I've lost track of the years.  
Thank you for your concern, but there's nothing serious. I'm perfectly fine. The doctor of my team conducted various medical tests and apparently all is well; there's no further trace of poison. No more risk of transmission.

Oh and finally the alien died, or rather I killed him when it tried to attack one of our members.  
I refuse to lose a member, never.

It appears that it's your turn to ask a question.

Have a good read ;)

Jack

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 ** **Thursday 17th of March 2006, 11.49pm  
To:**** jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk

 ** **From:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk

 ** **Subject:**** Fine thank you

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I haven't left the building yet. I have to turn off all computers that my colleagues have left running, so I took the opportunity to write my answer now before I go home.

As for Ms Hartman, don't give yourself trouble trying to convince her, it's not tragic if I never get to the field. It's been like this for 4 years; I'm not bothered. Plus you'd be wasting your charm; my boss is cool as ice and it does not crack so easily. I think it'd be best if you abandon the idea, but thank you for the proposal.

Telling you my age doesn't bother me at all. I'm not like those who'd explode in your face, lecturing you about how rude it is to ask someone's age. I'm 22 and I started to work for Torchwood shortly after my father died on my 18th birthday. I lived with my sister and him; my mother died when I was born. But when he passed away, I left home. There were too many unpleasant memories, and then I joined the ranks of the Institute by proving my skills. On the other hand, concerning you, I don't know if I should worry about that smiley, are you a sort of old pervert trying to attract young people? Owing to the fact that you can't even remember how long you've worked for your own Institute. Exactly how old are you, Jack?

At least explain to me how anyone could forget how long he's been working?

At least, the alien couldn't do any harm...

Goodnight,

Ianto

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 ** **Friday 18th of March 2006, 3.50am  
To:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk  
 ** **From:**** jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk  
 ** **Subject:**** :) (not to take seriously)

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Dear Ianto (it sounds romantic, doesn't it?),

I've never seen someone as passionate about his work. It's amazing. I truly respect you but you should get some rest.

I think it's a pity that you can't acquire hands-on experience dealing with aliens. Please reconsider my offer sometime if you want to discover another aspect of working for Torchwood. You're 22. Enjoy your youth.

Don't worry, I assure you there's no reason to fear me. I'm not that sort of person. And I'm sorry about your parents; I didn't intend to incite discomfort.

I suppose that by constantly encountering the same routine we willfully forget, perhaps out of misery.  
Have I said something wrong? I don't mean to wound you.

Goodnight,

Jack

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 ** **Friday 18th of March 2006, 10.14am  
To:**** jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk  
 ** **From:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk  
 ** **Subject:**** Seriously?

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If you hadn't told me you weren't a pervert, I would've still figured it out by reading your email. Apparently you're openly flirting with me

I'll remember your proposal, perhaps I'll change my mind.

It's nothing to worry about. I never got along with my father anyway. He was always criticizing me. However, I miss my sister a lot. I don't see her very often because she lives in Cardiff with her husband and children.

Can I at least know the age of the person I've been corresponding with? I think that'd be appropriate.  
It's just... Personally it's difficult to think to kill an alien, even if it's hostile. No doubt it's a normal reaction for someone who has never been close to such a creature.

I'll reply to you later

Ianto

PS: Do you never sleep? You sent me that email at almost 4am! I think it's you who's overdue for a rest.

 ** **.****

 ** **.****

 ** **Sunday 19th of March 2006, 7pm  
To:**** jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk  
 ** **From:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk  
 ** **Subject:**** Everything's okay?

.  
Evening I wanted to apologize if I inadvertently offended you. It wasn't my intention, and I understand if you don't want to talk about certain things that only concern yourself.

Sincerely,

Ianto

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 **Tuesday 21st of March 2006, 12.58pm  
To:** jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk  
 ** **From:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk  
 ** **Subject:**** Jack?

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Hello,

Apparently I seriously should have kept quiet. I understand if you refuse to reply to my emails.  
Sorry again,

Good day,

Ianto Jones  
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 ** **Friday 24th of March 2006, 4.32pm  
To:**** jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk  
 ** **From:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk  
 ** **Subject:**** Goodbye?

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Good Evening,

As it seems our little chat has ended I wanted to apologize again. I have to admit I enjoyed this little game. Talking to a perfect stranger because of a mistake in recipient... that was nice. Thanks for these few days and good luck in all your endeavors, Captain Harkness.

Greetings and have a good evening,

Ianto Jones

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 **Saturday 25th of March 2006, 6.45pm  
To: **officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk  
 ** **From:**** jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk  
 ** **Subject:**** Sincere apologies

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Evening Ianto,

It was inexcusable of me to not give you some news these last days. I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say.

My week has been extremely hectic. I've had very little down time. The Rift has been quite active and we have had to deal with several alien appearances, including an increased number of weevils in Cardiff, among other disasters. You've had nothing to do with my absence and I hope we can still continue our discussions.

Bye,

Jack

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 **Friday 27th of March 2006, 10.21am  
To: **jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk  
 ** **From:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk  
 ** **Subject:**** Welcome back :)

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Hello Jack,

I'm reassured: you didn't succumb to the side effects of the Krycmymt, which would have been unfortunate as I now consider you my friend. My mysterious friend of a chance encounter. (yeah it definitely sounds romantic).

However will not be able to keep talking via email, Ms Hartman thinks I send far too many non-professional messages with this address...

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 ** **Friday 27th of March 2006, 10.30am  
To:**** officer15 . torchwood1 . co . uk  
 ** **From:**** jharkness . torchwood3 . co . uk  
 ** **Subject:**** Thanks ;)

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Oh well maybe we could keep talking via text messages, here's my number:  
044 209 75128

See you soon then,

Jack

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 **Thanks everyone for reading, I hope you've liked that first chapter :)**

 ** **As soon as the next one will be translated I'll publish it there!****

 ** **See ya!****


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello guys I'm back for the second chapter of Wrong Receiver I'm sorry for being so long but I'm kinda busy with my studies.**

 **Thanks to ClareHope128 for correcting my translation mistakes, visit her blog** (clarehope128 . tumblr . com , delete the spaces)

 **Disclaimer:** **Torchwood isn't mine unfortunately, it belongs to Russell T Davies and to the BBC.**

 **More precisions when the character will speak:**

Jack will be in normal type fonts

 _Ianto in italic_

Lisa will be underlined

 **Have a good read!**

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Chapter 2: Innocent flirtings?

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 **Fri 27/03/2006 (27** **th** **of March 2006)**

(10.31am)

 _Morning Mr Harkness, I am the stranger from Torchwood 1. I can keep stalking you through texts now._

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(10.32am)

Got it Mr Jones, you mysterious and intriguing young man, your number is now in my contact list.

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(10.36am)

 _I'm curious to know how many numbers you've got in your contacts._

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(10.40am)

Too many, I lost count actually. Does that make you jealous?

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(10.43am)

 _I'm not. Now I'm just feeling like a teenager hiding her phone under the desk to text, with a stupid grin on her face_. _I will text you back as soon as I can, I want to keep my job. I'll talk to you later Jack._

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(10.45am)

No problem. See you later then.

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(10.50am)

 _Thanks for the number by the way._

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(10.51am)

My pleasure ;)

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(12.06pm)

 _Lunch break, I am available for about half an hour_

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(12.13pm)

Agent Jones, such a pleasure to have you back, I've missed you!

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(12.15pm)

 _At least I know you like me: you've missed me and we're still chatting for precisely 11 days. Also I notice that you like putting some romance into our conversation don't you?_

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(12.18pm)

Oh you've been counting the days since we've started this little chatting thing? That's adorable. And yes I kind of like putting some romance into everything, it's a big part of my natural charisma in addition to my unmatched beauty.

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(12.21pm)

 _Does your head still fit through the door?_

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(12.22pm)

It does :)

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(12.25pm)

 _Do you often flirt with strangers?_

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(12.27pm)

Only when they're as intriguing as you are.

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(12.30pm)

 _I am torn between wanting to smile and sighing at this moment._

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(12.33pm)

Why not do both at the same time? I was just telling you what I thought

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(12.35pm)

 _One fairly innocent thought among some non-Catholic ones, am I right?_

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(12.36pm)

Bingo, do you read people's minds?

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(12.38pm)

 _Fortunately not, I prefer not to read yours even inadvertently._

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(12.40pm)

Really? I'm hurt right now!

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(12.41pm)

 _Are you?_

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(12.41pm)

 _I've got to get back to work, I'll text you later Jack_ :)

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(12.43pm)

Good luck ;)

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(3.21pm)

 _Lisa I need your help._

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(3.26pm)

How can I help you?

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(3.34pm)

 _I… I've met a man._

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(3.36pm)

 **"Incoming call"**

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(3.37pm)

Ianto Jones how dare you hang up on me when you told me such a big scoop?

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(3.42pm)

 _I'm at work Lisa…_

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(3.44pm)

Then speak!

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(4.03pm)

 _Well let's just say it has started about 10 days ago with a recipient mistake and we haven't stopped talking since._

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(4.05pm)

And you realized he was your hidden lover didn't you?

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(4.23pm)

 _You should stop watching mushy films… We've just been flirting a lot and it seems so natural to me. I don't know what to think._

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(4.25pm)

That's cute! Don't question it, just carry on, he seems to brighten your daily life so don't let him go ;)

And we have to see each other again as soon as possible!

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(5.01pm)

 _Wanna share a pizza tomorrow evening? I can make you some coffee while we watch Jimmy Kimmel Live!, is that okay?_

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(5.06pm)

It sounds perfect, and I'm free tomorrow! See you at your place then!

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(5.15pm)

 _See you tomorrow._

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(7.23pm)

 _My work day is over; I'm probably going straight to my place tonight and take some rest as you've advised me_

 _Also Mrs Hartman gave me my weekend and I'm going back to Cardiff._

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(9.14pm)

Hey Ianto I've missed you. I'm probably not being able to talk with you tonight, it's a bit messy down here, a weevil has escaped and it's playing hide-and-seek with us in the Hub. We couldn't chat until we find it.

You're from Cardiff?

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(9.18pm)

 _Be careful and you should try dark chocolate to attract it, it usually works with most of the creatures._

 _Yes I was born there._

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(9.33pm)

No worries, I'm stronger than you think. And thanks for the advice I've just sent one of my agents to buy some. I really should call for you amazing knowledge more often!

Wow that's great! Listen this may sound a bit too fast but I'd really like to meet you, what do you think?

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(9.35pm)

 **"Incoming call"**

 _"Lisa, I'm sorry to call you so late"_

"What's going on?"

 _"It's Jack, the man I talked you about sooner… He wants to meet me when I'm in Cardiff"_

"Ianto tell him yes! Perhaps you would never have this opportunity again! And it costs you nothing, you're older to know what to have to do"

 _"I know but I don't at the same time… It sounds so strange to meet him in real life, I mean… I like the "talking-to-a-stranger thing" pretty much without knowing what he looks like"_

"It's so romantic!"

" _I really didn't need that kind of comment…_ "

"You're not insensitive to his charms admit it. Could you give me his number? I'd like to test the water"

" _Why would I do that? You would harass him until you get some juicy details_ "

"Would be possessive? Am I dreaming or do you want to keep him to yourself?"

" _I bet you're imagining a whole lot of impossible things_ "

"Not at all, where do you get this idea about me?"

" _… I'm going to think about it again a little bit more. I have to hang up I must get prepared to go to Cardiff. See you tomorrow at 7pm at my place_ "

"See you tomorrow Ianto"

 **"Call ended"**

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 **Sat 28/03/2006**

(01.47am)

 _Sorry I was on the way home to Wales_

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(01.53am)

Welcome back Mr Jones, have you thought about my proposal?

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(01.56am)

 _I accept it (Do you never sleep?)_

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(01.58am)

Awesome we're going on a real date then ;) Let's say… 12pm in front of the French restaurant located on Mermaid Quay? (I was waiting for your answer)

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(02.00am)

 _It's perfect (So you don't sleep until I haven't answered?_ _I'm flattered)_

 _See you tomorrow then_

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(02.01am)

See you tomorrow Ianto, and good night.


End file.
